So, someone messaged me and asked for tips on how to write a sex scene.
After a taken-aback moment, it struck me as a reasonable question.
Unless you’re actually trying to write pornography — which I doubt anyone writing for teens is attempting, the opinions of censors notwithstanding — when you say “a sex scene,” you could mean many different things, from a hookup between relative strangers, to a fraught First Time between people who have different agendas for the event, to an intensely sensual connection between people who are deeply in love, and anything and everything in between.
I think what you need to know, above and beyond any logistical details you choose to relate about Tab A fitting, or not, into Slot B, is how the people you’re writing about actually feel about each other.
When I write this kind of scene, I tend to rely to a large extent on the reader’s imagination. I don’t think you need a lot of details –just a few, well-chosen. What the reader brings to the scene will be much more, uh, relevant? — than anything I consciously try to evoke.
Other thoughts?
caleb
July 7, 2009 at 10:08 amMy favorite sex scenes in books all deal with finding out what turns on the characters. Not physically, like Stephen King would write, but emotionally, like you do. What makes the sex or not-sex between these people special? In that sense it isn’t any different from any other scene.
Jo
July 7, 2009 at 11:03 amI think one of the best sex scenes I’ve read was in John Green’s Looking For Alaska. Its genius is in its relevance to both the characters and the readers. Not only did the scene advance the narrative and support character development, but it was also written in such a way as to be ENTIRELY relatable to anyone who’s ever been an adolescent, thereby enhancing the reader’s relationship to the story. In short, it was awesome.
sara z.
July 7, 2009 at 11:03 amTotally agree with you re: a few well-chosen details. In Sweethearts there’s something like a sex scene, but it’s not about love or romance or even lust – in that case it’s really about showing how the character uses physical intimacy as an escape, similar to how she uses food. What they specifically do is very vague. Readers can make assumptions. The point is to reveal something about where the character is emotionally and how she is actually more distant from her boyfriend than she wants to be.