12:00-12:10 Try on six pairs of jeans at thrift store. Feel downcast at the size of the pair that fits and is flattering, but they are a mere $6.50. Buy them.
12:10-12:20 Go to nearby trendy boutique. Try on four more pairs of jeans, none of which costs less than $70. Each, on me, is a unique muffin-top-generating low-rise nightmare. Feel more downcast. Obviously I cannot wear truly stylish jeans.
12:20-12:40 Drive home, eat lunch. Google the brand of the thrift-store jeans, since it is unknown to me. OMG! They’re made in Italy! OMG! That size is the equivalent of a smaller US size! OMG! They cost a lot of money new!
12:40-12:41 Feel sense of triumph.
12:42-12:45 Followed by self-recrimination: why should it matter what size they are? why do I care about the brand name? Am I just a hopeless pawn of fashion/capitalism/sizeism/etc.?
12:46 Realize: yes.
invertedreptile
December 29, 2005 at 9:40 ami feel smugness when buying expensive ass clothes at thrift stores because some other sucker paid hundreds of dollars for them.
barophobia07
December 29, 2005 at 11:16 amThis is a little random, but I read your booklist and wasn’t sure if you knew Julie Anne Peters has a new book out– it’s called “Far From Xanadu”, and I enjoyed it almost as much as I did “Empress of the World”. :]
cursedtruth
December 29, 2005 at 12:15 pmHeh, isn’t that realization so fun though?
Besides, you scored. ;)
ms_anthropy
December 29, 2005 at 1:12 pmNo, dear, not a HOPELESS pawn, or you wouldn’t be asking the question (joke!) Perhaps you’re just feeling triumphant at having gotten something expensive for next to nothing? 8-)
And by the way, low-risers ARE evil. It’s not just you. They are the Jeans of Satan.
capn_jil
December 29, 2005 at 3:24 pmdude, you’re a pawn of the MAN. the PANTS MAN.
that’s cool
really, it’s fuckin’ fine. we can bond drunkenly over pants failures, i totally went for the once-every-three-years PANTSADVENTURE of late.
also i showed mom a picture of hopey and she concurred. BLEH
nevikmoore
December 30, 2005 at 2:45 amHear, hear. Low-risers are great if you want plumber butt all day.
That said, I saw some VH-1 or E channel soul-sucking show that featured low-risers with built-in thong straps rising above the waistband. How efficient! Bimbos and plumbers take note!
ms_anthropy
December 30, 2005 at 3:29 amOh, my gawd. It’s so nice to know that overworked streetwalkers can save so much time getting dressed! (Trying very, very hard not to think of “my plumber” and “thong straps” in the same sentence…brrrr….)
moriath
December 30, 2005 at 6:32 amI always feel smug picking up designer clothes at thrift stores. I highly value my Express via Salvation Army wardrobe.
anonymous
December 31, 2005 at 4:38 amSo much for Pattern Recognition!
thisisnotanlj
January 3, 2006 at 7:51 amthanks! yes, that list could use some updating…
dirtylibrarian
January 6, 2006 at 3:04 amOn the news at the airport I saw a clip about how high-rise jeans are the next new trend. Yipes.